Category:

MY PASSION FOR COACHING

I am doing what I can to help open minds and strengthen human connections. When people stay stuck in their old stories, they live more in fear than fulfillment. This creates conflicts and separation. I believe a coaching approach in our conversations can make our lives and relationships feel more rewarding and enjoyable.

The vision at Coaching.com is to radically shift the global professional coaching industry toward excellence by continually providing coaches with more knowledge and skills. The founder, Ben Croft, said, "Together, we passionately believe by empowering coaches through deeper learning, we can help change the world." I fully embody this philosophy.

When people know and feel their highest and most powerful self, they are often inspired to help others feel the same. Breakthrough Coaching can uplift and positively energize people around the world even when darkness tries to crush hope. Will you join me in this movement?

PART ONE

HOW TO EMBODY A COACHING MINDSET

The willingness of someone to engage with you as a coach depends on the energetic connection you create with them through your feelings, beliefs, and full-bodied attention. The practice of being fully present with an open mind and compassionate heart starts with yourself. You develop awareness of your emotions, beliefs, and needs so you can move them out of the way when coaching. Your presence creates a safe container for coaching. Your presence also affects what you hear, see, and receive as your coachee relives their experience with you.

The energetic connection is dependent on how safe the coachee feels with you. The strongest predictor that people will connect and open up to you is when you accept and respect who they are and what they say. They feel safe when they know you won't judge what they say and that you will appreciate their perspective no matter how different it is from your own. They feel valued as well as seen.

Six studies, and many that have followed, provided evidence that sincere respect is the strongest stimulus of positive feelings when interacting. When it comes to creating trust and safety, feeling respected beats out the other factors, including compassion. They will feel safe enough to trust you when they feel that your intention is for their gain and your belief in their ability to grow is genuine.

Do you care about what is important to them? Do you believe in their abilities even more than they do? Can you maintain your sense of their intrinsic value throughout the conversation? You are answering yes to these questions when you demonstrate your belief that the person you are coaching is smart enough to discover solutions without you telling them what to do.

You have no doubt they are fully functional, not inadequate and in need of your advice. You hold their dreams and desires as important even if you want something else for them.

Presence is not an action but a positive dynamic state of energy that forms and maintains the connection between you and the person you are coaching throughout the conversations. They feel you care and are there for their growth from the moment they see you in the room or online. Your presence will open or close the door to their acceptance of how you use your skills.

CHAPTER ONE

WHAT IT MEANS TO EMBODY A COACHING MINDSET

When you first learn to coach, you practice applying the core competencies. Then you must trust that you know what to do, forgetting the specifics of the requirements. You coach by heart, not from your head. You get better at this with practice while knowing improvement is a continuous journey.

You must let go of being the perfect coach. Your clients need you to be present more than they need you to ask the perfect question. You don't have to coach flawlessly to receive and offer back what you think was expressed. When you are wrong and they correct you, you both better understand their thinking. When you trust that you will make a difference for them by creating a safe space to talk while using reflective inquiry as best you can in the moment, you are a good coach.

There is a commonly held idea that you need ten thousand hours of practice to be a master. This belief suggests that mastering a skill has an end point. Whether this is true for some skills, in coaching, mastery is an ongoing journey. Deliberate practice makes you better at applying your skills, but how you continually deepen your full-body presence while performing creates the profound results you seek. There is not a path 'to' mastery but a path 'of' mastery.

You develop your mastery as you feel comfortable enough with your skills to let go and ride the ebb and flow of the conversation, receiving and offering back what seems to be the most meaningful elements in what the person shares with you. You receive their words, expressions, and energetic shifts. You offer what you experienced for them to consider. They will have emotional reactions as they examine the construction of their stories, deconstructing what doesn't serve them and considering new ideas as they come to light. If you stay with them throughout the process, not worrying about the mechanics of your practice, the session will be successful.

 

They may not have a clear aha moment with you, but they will continue to think about the conversation; the lightbulb may come on in the days that follow. The creative insights that emerge in the moment and over time are the measures of success in coaching.